May the Fourth- Star Wars Binge- Episodes 1 - 3

I've missed movie blogging. It was a good month off. I meant to beauty blog more...but that so didn't happen...I got like two maybe 3 blogs out.  But that's okay. So I've been debating what should be my next movie blog and what I should pick and then all of a sudden May is here! Monday is May the Fourth and in honor I've decided to Star Wars binge this weekend- in-between cleaning and practicing my LSAT Logic Problems.

I'm a Star Wars fan thanks to my dad, it's all his fault. I saw the rereleased original trilogy in the theaters in Middle School with my dad and sister. I'd seen them before that of course, but it was super fun to see them on the big screen...then all the new ones. Now I know there's a lot of debate in how you should watch Star Wars and I try to ignore all of that. I just go 1 - 6. Usually napping for a few hours during Episode 2 and waking up with it still on- seriously this is a thing you can do- it's hella long. So let's start with the 1 - 3 the new trilogy and what lots of people wish never happened. Whatever I don't care. I enjoy them and was super excited standing in line for all the midnight premieres with my sister. I don't care if you hate them yes there's crappiness in them but there's also Natalie Portman- so I rest my case. Let's go!

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 

Released: May 19th, 1999
Rated: PG
Staring: Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson, and Ewan McGregor (yay)

I remember when this movie came out. I remember before when the music video for the score was first released and I was so excited waiting for it.  The music was choral and loud and threatening and amazing.  I mean duh John Williams in Abbey Road. I remember standing in line with Haley and her boyfriend at the time starting at like 8:30 in the evening for the midnight showing. I didn't hate it. I loved it and was so excited for the ones that followed- go ahead judge away.

But I remember everything leading up to the movies and being so excited, the posters, the previews, the interviews the tv spots. I remember it all so fondly. I don't watch Episode 1 & 2 very often...maybe once every two years? Episode 3 is great for when I want to cry- I don't care how many times I see it no mater how much I'm dissatisfied with the acting it still makes me cry...dammit Natalie. So it's been a few years since I saw this one probably... So sure overall episodes 1 - 3 are disappointing but it hasn't lessened my love of the original three nor my excitement for the new-new ones.  But I always reserve the right to be snarky...

During Thoughts:
Oooh Natalie Portman you're so fabulous- but dislike the fake deep voice...stop that
Oh god all the quotable lines...
Ooooh what was the drinking game we used to play with this one? Episode 5 was drinking every time they say Skywalker (you're drunk in 10 minutes) and Episode 2 was drink every time Hayden tried to act tortured...hmmm
Yah just walk into the water with your cloaks on and pretend you look cool...it's cool we'll wait.
Oooh yah it was Natalie Portman costume changes! Not as good as the other drinking games but still fun...
I love how stupid the droids are in this one...they pretty much suck you can trick them far too easily.
Hey look it's that one guy!
Hey R2
Oh no...child actors...some things you can't teach...uuuhg
Oh so earnest... I'm a person...
Yippee was a poor choice...
Immaculate conception!
I find the actual pod race is kinda boring...maybe that's why I don't watch this movie that often.
Oh god the bad acting by that child...seriously...
Dian McDiarmid! I'm always shocked that he was able to play his role after all the years.
Yoda...did not un-age well...he looks better in episode II.
Samuel Mother Fuckin' L- you do you.
Oh that hair looks painful Padme
OOOH this is how the music video started...then the choir came in...
The droid carriers remind me of chair racks...like how you stack them all together and then roll them around...anyone? anyone? just me.
Sith time. Also means dramatic choir time.
And precarious heights for no reason time...this is common in all 6...well there's kinda a reason...death is the reason.
Padme is really resourceful for a queen- how does she know how to shoot a gun and grapple hook things? Did she grow up as a diplomat's daughter?
Noooooooo! Why do the always die in really bad ways?!? Like they're awesome with their lightsabers and they like forget to shield and then they're dead? It's so annoying.
You too Sith- really y'all suck at defending yourselves...but I do like the cut completely in half unlike Qui-Gon
Always two there are...then we pan to you Palpatine because everyone knows!
Haha this makes me remember the Robot Chicken with Little Hitler and Little Palpatine...anyone else remember those?

After Thoughts: Okay that one is pretty painful, I'll give you that. It's really really really hard to take seriously. Natalie Portman is flawless. Ewan McGregor is concerned. Baby Anakin is annoying as hell, but mostly because the kid is trying so hard to act...it's terrible.  The council is annoying as in all these movies because DO YOUR JOB! But still entertaining. Looking forward to my nap in Episode Two, but first I need to do some logic problems and start the laundry...


Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones

Released: May 16th, 2002
Rated: PG
Staring: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Hayden Christensen

So this one is supposed to be the love story. This is where we're supposed to see Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen fall in love...I don't see it. I can see Natalie trying, but there's just a lack of chemistry...I feel like it's' a little better in the 3rd movie but we'll find out soon enough.

So I didn't take my nap, I did watch a good amount of this movie because it is just so so so much better than Episode 1. There are still many laughable moments and Anakin's acting does not get better with age or new actor. He is such a sulky teenager in this. And his anger is frequently more funny than serious or threatening.

So this is also the movie they try to make it really clear that he's got a dark side. His emotions always get in the way and he makes really poor choices. So basically they make it very clear that doing things based on what you want is selfish and is what makes people dark...so anytime Anakin does something because he loves Padme or wants to help Obi-Wan instead of doing his 'duty' he's leaning towards the dark side.

Ewan McGregor is awesome in this one too. He is much more fatherly and seems to be the most unmotivated by personal issues of all the Jedis.  I love the weird creatures he visits on the cloners planet, the cool guy with the mohawk is my favorite. Then of course there's Yoda's one time badass fight scene...it just looks so fake now...but I am glad they gave Yoda a facelift. I guess they just CGi'd him more instead of trying to use the puppet because he looks way better in this film.

So overall I just don't feel like this one is bad. I really like a lot of it. I think it foreshadows a lot. The acting still is sad and it could be about 22 minutes shorter and I'd be really happy.

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Released: May 19h, 2005
Rated: PG-13
Staring: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Hayden Christensen

Okay last one of the new trilogy. Weird we're going to have another one...so I guess this one will get changed to the Prequel Trilogy? Then the Original and then the new new trilogy?  Whatever. So this is the last one and I would normally say my favorite of the Prequels because I cry...but that's probably a poor thing to judge it on.  So let's see how it holds up...now that I'm watching these I actually think I may have only watched them once since I moved here. Right before I read the Foundation Trilogy because had I watched this after I would have wanted to talk to someone about it so much.  Please someone talk to me about the Foundation books! Please!!!

Okay movie time.  I made myself some chicken, spinach and macaroni for the occasion...actually it's just what was easy. I spent the afternoon doing logic problems and my brain couldn't take anything complicated.

During Thoughts:
Should have watched the Clone Wars cartoons...the ones from when we were in high school...oh-well
Hold on Anakin you're going to get us both killed...not really his concern.
Okay the dying droid noise is a little too much...
Grievous!!! (yah I had to look up how to spell that) See how the hell are you supposed to know who he is without the Clone Wars cartoons?
R2 kill them all!
I find myself becoming more and more attracted to Obi-Wan as the movies progress...but I feel someone in real life with his hair and beard would not be as attractive...
He was an unarmed prisoner...low-blow.
C-3PO you're all clean and gold!
Leia buns! So in this movie Natalie seems to have reverse aged...well not her but the character Padme, she seems to be less mature and more stupid in love...blame it on the pregnancy?
Yoda and the Wookies! It always makes me smile.
41 minutes in first tears...dammit Obi-Wan- he will not let me down, he never has...  UUUHG
Oooh the cool lizard thing- I want one! He has feathers too!
So uncivilized...yes cause slicing off people's arms with light sabers.
Now everyone waits...poorly. Padme senses it. Anakin cries.
Samuel L's nose is flared meaning he's pissed.
God those Jedis suck if they can't last one minutes with Palpatine.
Uhhhg now he's going to go on about power, ultimate and supreme power...so annoying...will someone kill him please.
And all I hear whenever anyone says the Force is strong with you is Eddie Izzard- how strong? As strong as a small pony...lol
Okay this one is pretty long too...I still have an hour left? really? more wine.
Oh my poor lizard creature dies :( sad day. Yah yah and a bunch of Jedis.
Chewie saves Yoda. Awwww.
Noooooo - more tears I hate when Anakin kills the younglings...saddest day.
Padme's hair looks amazing. Why can't my hair look like that? Oh...yah cause her's is fake...
I love the old school wipe transitions...
And all the tears 1.35. Don't make Obi-Wan realize it was Anakin! Nooooo!
This is how liberty dies with thunderous applause. Pretty much...
Now for for more tears dammit Padme- and Obi-Wan!
Why does he always want to be more powerful than everyone? Like really you want to be more powerful than everyone why?
Oh yah- lust for power- thanks Obi-Wan
Good scoring, I do enjoy the use of themes in movies- do regular non genre movies do that?
When Obi-Wan says he's failed Anakin- oh god I die...
And back to being an angsty teen- I hate you! God grow up.
Oooh there's a little bit of Evita in that last theme...The choice was mine and mine completely...as Padme goes in and out of consciousness
Fun trivia how many movies has Natalie Portman been pregnant in? I don't know the answer...Two that I have...Where the Heart Is and this...both births were traumatic...
And now the sound we can all be grateful for http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

After Thoughts:

Yay! So I do no know and understand I have been wrong. Episode II is the best of the new trilogy. Episode III is fine it's just kinda one of those necessary movies to complete the story and so everything is getting tied up.  Also you know how it ends! And where it leads. And that is to someplace better.  Also Natalie Portman is an ugly crier...but we've always known that.

I appreciate this movie and this trilogy for the backstory. So it's not as good as the originals whatever it's still fun and entertaining and really what more are you looking for from a Space Opera?

Okay I'm done writing about this like I have any authority to. Tomorrow I'll watch A New Hope and probably start Empire...or I may just watch Clerks instead! Just kidding. Okay we'll continue this tomorrow on May the Fourth. Goodnight.