Saturday, May 9, 2015

May the Fourth- Star Wars Original Trilogy: Jedi

Last weekend I did this > Star Wars Prequel Trilogy

Monday I did this > Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Blog Post

Wednesday I did this > Star Wars Original Trilogy: Empire

And tonight- Friday I'm doing this!

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Released: May 25, 1983
Rated: PG

And we start off with some poor Imperial worker getting the shit scared out of him when Vader comes and tells him the Emperor is coming.
Then R2-D2 and C-3PO go to see Jabba 
Yah you suck at rescuing people Leia....but that's okay.
Luke shows up- full Jedi knight now apparently...delusions of grandeur yada yada yada 
The one guy's sad that he killed his monster creature.
Everyone looks older...
Awww the redesigned Sarlacc creature.... so sad....what was wrong with the gaping hole with teeth?
Does everyone enjoy Lando as much as I do? I hope so
37 minutes in, no clear drinking game identified...
Hey it's the Emperor. Does he has a cane?
And yay Luke keeps his promises! But sad cause Yoda dies...or returns to the force or whatever he said in Episode I...
Everytime someone dies? Lots of people die in this one right?
44 minutes in seriously bored...
Didn't I used to like Return of the Jedi? Okay fine I still like it, but...
Oh good, ghosty force Obi-Wan...let's have a heart to heart
Yah Luke call him on his bullshit
Obi-Wan takes all the credit what about Qui-Gon/Aslan/Zeus/Ra's
Yay Admiral Ackbar!
"Good luck, you're gonna need it" - I say this all the time and no one gets the makes me so sad. My dad does...
PAUSE... we interrupt this viewing to go Paint with a Twist...
Okay, we're back and Chewie is flying casually...
My dad's dogs are about to make their debut! Shitzu's make adorable rebels!
So Stormtroops can't shoot or what are they good for again? I feel like they were so much more competent when they were the Jedi's Clone Army...
I mean they did rescue the Jedi forces several times... then the Empire takes them over and the suck, besides their quantity.
Seriously Mark Hamill looks old...
I agree with R2 it is pretty there.
Oooh look it's the Ewoks!
They're just to cute to be anything else. Adorable, I just want to cuddle one! But then I remember they're people in suits...and that's not okay.
Poor Han so worried about Leia...poor Leia so trusting of small woodland animals...
Lol, yes Chewie because something dead in a tree is the perfect thing to mess with!
EWOKS! Lots of them!
I like the pretty grey haired one...
So like all of the Cannibal Scene in the 3rd or 2nd Pirates movie is taken from here right? Which Pirates was that? At World's End? I think so...or Dead Man's Chest...dammit I get those confused.
And they're able to immediately make clothes appropriate for Leia...
Awwww the baby Ewok is adorable.
Shock em R2! Get 'em!
She died when you were born! That's like really very young not just regular young...
Oooh I wonder if in the new trilogy Leia will be a Jedi too! Oooh!
Vader is so totally slacking on the killing...geesh...
Did any other Jedis wear black besides Anakin? I don't remember seeing any of the others besides father and son...
Don't you bring Obi-Wan into this!
Uuhhg still 30 more minutes...I'm over this. I'll finish it in the morning...
Okay last time...
So why does Vader have to pick up the Emperor, why didn't he use the Force or a light saber...
Use the Force Luke your dad is mostly machine and heavy...
Also why does Vader die so easily when everyone else lives forever it seems? Is he dying of a broken heart like his wife?
So how does Luke know that Jedis are burned? Seriously does he just like know Jedi shit and not have to be taught?
Will he teach his sister? I have so many questions!
Also when you kill the Stormtrooper/Clones leader how do they know who to follow?
Also the new clips at the end piss me off still...All of them.

So these movies are just fun. Good entertainment, okay story, but really fun. I love the cheeseyness of them after being on the shelf for 30ish years so it's just fun. I enjoyed this whole re-wartch from the Prequels to the Original and am looking forward to the December release of the new ones! Although I'm a little disappointed it's not may when the other 6 were all released in May...I think that was cool. Now to get back to studying for my LSAT in less than a month now.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

May the Fourth- Star Wars Original Trilogy: Empire

Monday I did this > Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Blog Post

Now two days later I'm doing this. I can't not finish a project once I start!!!!

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Released: May 21, 1980
Rated: PG

I've mentioned this before but Star Wars especially Empire Strikes Back always makes me think of Clerks! And the Clerks cartoon- it's Hoth Cold also what about those independent contractors. Anyways like the others I'm going to take this whole blogging thing very seriously and share my thoughts as we go along. Warning I had a long day and my wine glass is very very full, I'm using the medium size glass tonight, I have normal, medium and large (the large holds a full bottle...we're not there yet).  Let's watch!

Scrolling words again...
Oooh look doesn't start with a battle- yay!
Oh wait did they say why we're on Hoth? How they got to Hoth? I should start paying attention
Drinking game? Every time someone references the cold? or Skywalker...hmmmm choices
Yah cause building a tent in that is going to be easy...
Rouge 2 is super excited to claim that he found them
Shoot it! Shoot it!
Maybe I don't really understand military strategy- okay I know I don't understand military strategy- but I feel like this is a bad one- like in the early episodes of Battlestar Galactica when they just kept jumping till the were found- is that what the rebels are doing? Sad.
Why do people keep arguing with Vader? When will they learn?
Why are the explosions green and pink?
Dagobah (yes I looked up how to spell it) is kinda boring... I'm trying to remember the Eddie Izzard Star Wars jokes, they always cracked me the f' up.
The Empire is British and the Rebels are American...Accents are so very special.
Man Luke's little fighter carried so much stuff!
Oh old Yoda- it's so weird seeing him like this right after the prequels.
I happen to like nice men? Keep telling yourself that Leia- Leia lies!
Poor worm doesn't get to eat today.
My cats have abandoned the cause...
Oh no Bobba Fett's voice is different on my DVDs it's one of the dubbed ones- sad day! Empire and Jedi are the most obnoxious of the remastered ones...uuuuhg already dreading seeing Hayden at the end of Jedi NOOOOOO!
Everytime the Force is Strong is mentioned! (Hoth drinking game is no longer working- an hour in clearly)
Is it time to go to Cloud City yet? - also dude why is yoda's mouth like neon green?
YES Vader Death!!!! Everybody drink!
Handstands always help me use the force too. Seriously though Yoda's green is very inconsistent... very distracting it is
Also Empire isn't as long as Episode II & III but I feel like it tells more stories without annoying me as much- like this whole Cloud City story is my favorite!
Poor 3PO. Hi Vader.
At least they brought 3PO's parts to Chewie in jail.
Yah Lando we really shouldn't make deals with Vader...never a good idea.
Han you look pretty good for someone who has just been tortured.
Oh good Han is going to share his true feelings with Leia soon.
And douche.
It's nice how carbonite floats so easily through hallways.
Oooh it's a trap another good drinking game!
Oh another Force wine glass is getting empty
Awww that's nice Boba calls him Captain Solo.
Oh good R2 just do some spins right in the middle of the fire...seriously
Lol, Luke sucks at deflecting flying objects
R2 gets electrocuted a lot, maybe that's why he spins in the face of laser fire...
3PO isn't as punny as he was in Episode III
Father son time! And my favorite Empire meme!!!
I think we'll just end it with that...
I always laugh when Vader sees the Falcon fly away and turns back to see who's to blame. I crack up.
Vader death? We can only assume.
Much fancier artificial hand than his dad got.
The end. Till Friday and I'll watch Jedi. 

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Released: May 25, 1983
Rated: PG
To be watched...

Monday, May 4, 2015

May the Fourth- Star Wars Original Trilogy

May the Fourth be with you. And also with you.

I don't know how old I was when my dad introduced these to me, but I do know it was before I was in middle school and we watched them whenever they were on TV. Haley had them on VHS and would sometimes let me borrow them...sometimes. We saw most of them together when they were re-released in the theaters. I know Hail and I saw them all together but I think dad came to Empire and Jedi...not positive unfortunately.  So daddy and Hail are super excited about the new film next December, I'd told them they need to prepare for the midnight showing because dammit we're not ruining our perfect score now. But Hail would need a baby sitter and dad's we'll see if that actually happens- fingers crossed.

Now I probably last watched them the first summer I was in College Station, I usually like to binge these during the summer, so it's been a few years. I watched part of New Hope a few months ago when it was on TV and I always catch Jedi at really random times on Sunday mornings when it's on, but all as a group it's been probably 2 years. So excited to watch them together.  So let's get started.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Released: May 25, 1977
Rated: PG

During Thoughts:
Oh god, just google Star Wars memes and enjoy your life for the next ten minutes...this is what I was doing during the opening text...I'm good I've got the gist.
It's sad to play Star Wars drinking games alone...I need some of that cat wine from Japan...
okay I need to take this more seriously- hey didn't we start the last episode like this? with a battle? yes, yes we did. right before we met Gievous!
OMG that one storm trooper totally looked like he was going to trip over the fake dead body!
No one has learned to shoot better in all these years? Why wouldn't they train the clones to be better marksmen? Isn't that a thing the cloners could breed into them? this is my question.
First Vader death? take a drink? Every time 3PO sounds worried?
Wow does Carrie Fisher look young! Oh yah...she was a Senator?
Tatooine looks much more orange in this one...
That storm trooper looks so beat up! It's kinda sad. Hmmm I wonder why they never take off their helmets in the original series, I mean good for the series because unlike Palpatine I doubt Jengo could reverse age...
Awwww Luke's theme!
'No I don't like you either.' I need to start telling people that...
Much less attracted to Obi-Wan in this movie...
Stop lying Obi-Wan- he was a shitty friend, he never listened to you
Lol, again with the civilized light saber, lol
Vader death two! Everybody drink! Dammit...false alarm...stop drinking...this drinking game sucks- if I'd gone with C-3PO's worrying we'd be half way drunk by now...
Fire just doesn't seem like the Storm Trooper way...why fire?
Yay! Scum and villainy! Also the foundation for my favorite Star Wars Meme ever!
Oooh Chewie's at the bar! 48 minutes in finally some Ford ...let's celebrate!
OMG maybe Hayden wasn't such a bad actor- Mark is just as bad a surly teen! Uhg his whiney voice...
Awww Jabba...I miss my frogs...both died too soon. Jabba and Pickles.
Do they keep calling the force Religion in the next two movies? I don't feel like they do...we'll see because I'm very curious about that now
OMG the bad effects when the Death Star starts pulling the Millennium Falcon in...were they literally standing outside the set shaking it?
Ooops I started googling stuff about The Magicians that was picked up by SyFy my bad...
1.16 in Aren't you a little short to be a Stormtrooper
Again they train princesses/queens very well in this galaxy because they all know how to shoot- seriously is this a part of diplomatic training?
Ooooh how about every time someone says they have a bad feeling about this?!? I feel like we've had several of those...Vader doesn't seem in the mood to kill people today...
I love how 'advanced' the Death Star is but it just takes Obi-Wan a few pulls of some levers and handles to shut down some things...
Oooh I like how Padme's hood was very similar to Leia's- but Padme showed her stomach and her gown was blue but still the hood is exactly the same! I promise...
PS I've moved on to wine glass 3...just in case my typing gets sloppier than usual...
Again with the precarious internal heights...
Uhhhg. Obi-Wan's about to die isn't he...
Every time.
They all look so young!
Luke you are a child, stop crushing on your sister, Solo is clearly the better choice.
Oh look he's going to use the force soon...are their fewer British rebels in these episodes?
I'm kinda bad at focusing on movies when I'm by myself...
So I do like that Episode One chose to parallel Episode Four in the endings that's kinda cool...okay done with IV tomorrow we'll do V

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Released: May 21, 1980
Rated: PG
To be watched...

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Released: May 25, 1983
Rated: PG
To be watched...

Sunday, May 3, 2015

May the Fourth- Star Wars Binge- Episodes 1 - 3

I've missed movie blogging. It was a good month off. I meant to beauty blog more...but that so didn't happen...I got like two maybe 3 blogs out.  But that's okay. So I've been debating what should be my next movie blog and what I should pick and then all of a sudden May is here! Monday is May the Fourth and in honor I've decided to Star Wars binge this weekend- in-between cleaning and practicing my LSAT Logic Problems.

I'm a Star Wars fan thanks to my dad, it's all his fault. I saw the rereleased original trilogy in the theaters in Middle School with my dad and sister. I'd seen them before that of course, but it was super fun to see them on the big screen...then all the new ones. Now I know there's a lot of debate in how you should watch Star Wars and I try to ignore all of that. I just go 1 - 6. Usually napping for a few hours during Episode 2 and waking up with it still on- seriously this is a thing you can do- it's hella long. So let's start with the 1 - 3 the new trilogy and what lots of people wish never happened. Whatever I don't care. I enjoy them and was super excited standing in line for all the midnight premieres with my sister. I don't care if you hate them yes there's crappiness in them but there's also Natalie Portman- so I rest my case. Let's go!

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 

Released: May 19th, 1999
Rated: PG
Staring: Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson, and Ewan McGregor (yay)

I remember when this movie came out. I remember before when the music video for the score was first released and I was so excited waiting for it.  The music was choral and loud and threatening and amazing.  I mean duh John Williams in Abbey Road. I remember standing in line with Haley and her boyfriend at the time starting at like 8:30 in the evening for the midnight showing. I didn't hate it. I loved it and was so excited for the ones that followed- go ahead judge away.

But I remember everything leading up to the movies and being so excited, the posters, the previews, the interviews the tv spots. I remember it all so fondly. I don't watch Episode 1 & 2 very often...maybe once every two years? Episode 3 is great for when I want to cry- I don't care how many times I see it no mater how much I'm dissatisfied with the acting it still makes me cry...dammit Natalie. So it's been a few years since I saw this one probably... So sure overall episodes 1 - 3 are disappointing but it hasn't lessened my love of the original three nor my excitement for the new-new ones.  But I always reserve the right to be snarky...

During Thoughts:
Oooh Natalie Portman you're so fabulous- but dislike the fake deep voice...stop that
Oh god all the quotable lines...
Ooooh what was the drinking game we used to play with this one? Episode 5 was drinking every time they say Skywalker (you're drunk in 10 minutes) and Episode 2 was drink every time Hayden tried to act tortured...hmmm
Yah just walk into the water with your cloaks on and pretend you look's cool we'll wait.
Oooh yah it was Natalie Portman costume changes! Not as good as the other drinking games but still fun...
I love how stupid the droids are in this one...they pretty much suck you can trick them far too easily.
Hey look it's that one guy!
Hey R2
Oh no...child actors...some things you can't teach...uuuhg
Oh so earnest... I'm a person...
Yippee was a poor choice...
Immaculate conception!
I find the actual pod race is kinda boring...maybe that's why I don't watch this movie that often.
Oh god the bad acting by that child...seriously...
Dian McDiarmid! I'm always shocked that he was able to play his role after all the years.
Yoda...did not un-age well...he looks better in episode II.
Samuel Mother Fuckin' L- you do you.
Oh that hair looks painful Padme
OOOH this is how the music video started...then the choir came in...
The droid carriers remind me of chair how you stack them all together and then roll them around...anyone? anyone? just me.
Sith time. Also means dramatic choir time.
And precarious heights for no reason time...this is common in all 6...well there's kinda a reason...death is the reason.
Padme is really resourceful for a queen- how does she know how to shoot a gun and grapple hook things? Did she grow up as a diplomat's daughter?
Noooooooo! Why do the always die in really bad ways?!? Like they're awesome with their lightsabers and they like forget to shield and then they're dead? It's so annoying.
You too Sith- really y'all suck at defending yourselves...but I do like the cut completely in half unlike Qui-Gon
Always two there are...then we pan to you Palpatine because everyone knows!
Haha this makes me remember the Robot Chicken with Little Hitler and Little Palpatine...anyone else remember those?

After Thoughts: Okay that one is pretty painful, I'll give you that. It's really really really hard to take seriously. Natalie Portman is flawless. Ewan McGregor is concerned. Baby Anakin is annoying as hell, but mostly because the kid is trying so hard to's terrible.  The council is annoying as in all these movies because DO YOUR JOB! But still entertaining. Looking forward to my nap in Episode Two, but first I need to do some logic problems and start the laundry...

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones

Released: May 16th, 2002
Rated: PG
Staring: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Hayden Christensen

So this one is supposed to be the love story. This is where we're supposed to see Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen fall in love...I don't see it. I can see Natalie trying, but there's just a lack of chemistry...I feel like it's' a little better in the 3rd movie but we'll find out soon enough.

So I didn't take my nap, I did watch a good amount of this movie because it is just so so so much better than Episode 1. There are still many laughable moments and Anakin's acting does not get better with age or new actor. He is such a sulky teenager in this. And his anger is frequently more funny than serious or threatening.

So this is also the movie they try to make it really clear that he's got a dark side. His emotions always get in the way and he makes really poor choices. So basically they make it very clear that doing things based on what you want is selfish and is what makes people anytime Anakin does something because he loves Padme or wants to help Obi-Wan instead of doing his 'duty' he's leaning towards the dark side.

Ewan McGregor is awesome in this one too. He is much more fatherly and seems to be the most unmotivated by personal issues of all the Jedis.  I love the weird creatures he visits on the cloners planet, the cool guy with the mohawk is my favorite. Then of course there's Yoda's one time badass fight just looks so fake now...but I am glad they gave Yoda a facelift. I guess they just CGi'd him more instead of trying to use the puppet because he looks way better in this film.

So overall I just don't feel like this one is bad. I really like a lot of it. I think it foreshadows a lot. The acting still is sad and it could be about 22 minutes shorter and I'd be really happy.

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Released: May 19h, 2005
Rated: PG-13
Staring: Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Hayden Christensen

Okay last one of the new trilogy. Weird we're going to have another I guess this one will get changed to the Prequel Trilogy? Then the Original and then the new new trilogy?  Whatever. So this is the last one and I would normally say my favorite of the Prequels because I cry...but that's probably a poor thing to judge it on.  So let's see how it holds that I'm watching these I actually think I may have only watched them once since I moved here. Right before I read the Foundation Trilogy because had I watched this after I would have wanted to talk to someone about it so much.  Please someone talk to me about the Foundation books! Please!!!

Okay movie time.  I made myself some chicken, spinach and macaroni for the occasion...actually it's just what was easy. I spent the afternoon doing logic problems and my brain couldn't take anything complicated.

During Thoughts:
Should have watched the Clone Wars cartoons...the ones from when we were in high school...oh-well
Hold on Anakin you're going to get us both killed...not really his concern.
Okay the dying droid noise is a little too much...
Grievous!!! (yah I had to look up how to spell that) See how the hell are you supposed to know who he is without the Clone Wars cartoons?
R2 kill them all!
I find myself becoming more and more attracted to Obi-Wan as the movies progress...but I feel someone in real life with his hair and beard would not be as attractive...
He was an unarmed prisoner...low-blow.
C-3PO you're all clean and gold!
Leia buns! So in this movie Natalie seems to have reverse aged...well not her but the character Padme, she seems to be less mature and more stupid in love...blame it on the pregnancy?
Yoda and the Wookies! It always makes me smile.
41 minutes in first tears...dammit Obi-Wan- he will not let me down, he never has...  UUUHG
Oooh the cool lizard thing- I want one! He has feathers too!
So uncivilized...yes cause slicing off people's arms with light sabers.
Now everyone waits...poorly. Padme senses it. Anakin cries.
Samuel L's nose is flared meaning he's pissed.
God those Jedis suck if they can't last one minutes with Palpatine.
Uhhhg now he's going to go on about power, ultimate and supreme annoying...will someone kill him please.
And all I hear whenever anyone says the Force is strong with you is Eddie Izzard- how strong? As strong as a small
Okay this one is pretty long too...I still have an hour left? really? more wine.
Oh my poor lizard creature dies :( sad day. Yah yah and a bunch of Jedis.
Chewie saves Yoda. Awwww.
Noooooo - more tears I hate when Anakin kills the younglings...saddest day.
Padme's hair looks amazing. Why can't my hair look like that? Oh...yah cause her's is fake...
I love the old school wipe transitions...
And all the tears 1.35. Don't make Obi-Wan realize it was Anakin! Nooooo!
This is how liberty dies with thunderous applause. Pretty much...
Now for for more tears dammit Padme- and Obi-Wan!
Why does he always want to be more powerful than everyone? Like really you want to be more powerful than everyone why?
Oh yah- lust for power- thanks Obi-Wan
Good scoring, I do enjoy the use of themes in movies- do regular non genre movies do that?
When Obi-Wan says he's failed Anakin- oh god I die...
And back to being an angsty teen- I hate you! God grow up.
Oooh there's a little bit of Evita in that last theme...The choice was mine and mine Padme goes in and out of consciousness
Fun trivia how many movies has Natalie Portman been pregnant in? I don't know the answer...Two that I have...Where the Heart Is and this...both births were traumatic...
And now the sound we can all be grateful for

After Thoughts:

Yay! So I do no know and understand I have been wrong. Episode II is the best of the new trilogy. Episode III is fine it's just kinda one of those necessary movies to complete the story and so everything is getting tied up.  Also you know how it ends! And where it leads. And that is to someplace better.  Also Natalie Portman is an ugly crier...but we've always known that.

I appreciate this movie and this trilogy for the backstory. So it's not as good as the originals whatever it's still fun and entertaining and really what more are you looking for from a Space Opera?

Okay I'm done writing about this like I have any authority to. Tomorrow I'll watch A New Hope and probably start Empire...or I may just watch Clerks instead! Just kidding. Okay we'll continue this tomorrow on May the Fourth. Goodnight.